Frustrated

This past week has made me realize so many things but mostly that I am addicted to food. I dont mean I need to eat, I mean saying no to certain foods is just about the hardest thing I can think of. For every time i say no, i go back and say yes ater to some thing worse. So why even say no at all? Im constantly battling myself and playing this game in my head and trying to break old habits. Its crazy! Im really really struggling with this. It doesnt help that I dont have time or moey to prep a proper kitchen. Im good for 3 or 4 days then I run out of good food and dont have time or money to get new good food and end up back at the old bad food, ugh! I know its only week 2 but im still frustrated. I actually went ao a get together with pizza and cup cakes and said no, yet tonight i went and had ice cream with the kids. I dont want to live a life of not eating fun foods but i also want to be able to choose when i have fun foods, like tonight i bought 3 scoops of ice cream, knowing well not all 3 kids would finish or like theirs and i could have eaten half of theirs but instead i ordered my very own and ate the whole thing and now have 2 half eaten ones in the freezer. Ugh! I am doing ok at no bread, but im eating lots of meat with nothing with it, its boring and bland. I need my sides, I need my steamed veggies or something. I like the grab and go smoothies but i have oral fixation, i like to snack and chew and smoothies gone in 3 gulps isnt cutting it. I feel I need to go back for something else. I have not lost weight, i feel meaner which Im sure is a side effect of withdrawl or just frustration. im not running a smuch as I would like, as usual everyones else schedules come before mine. its tough... but the fight is not over. Im in week 2 of a 6 wk challenge and if I can find $35 I will join another 6 week challenge where both challenges I have chances to win money, so I should be motivated but as my nature i leave it to the last minute. Im doing better than I was, i have to concentrate on that, keep improving. I saw a saying tonight and it hit me really good and I will end with it.

Heavenly Father, I am grateful to know I am a work in progress and you are not finished with me yet!